Where We've Come From, Who We've Been

by McCalister

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released June 3, 2014

Music by Sarah Kapilow, Dan Martino, Bobby Grimaldi and Andrew Van Buskirk
Produced by McCalister and Steve Kellner
Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Steve Kellner
Cover Artwork by Voodoo Bownz



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We are a band from New Jersey.

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Track Name: Ageless Youth
I'm slowly coasting through the disposal of emotion
I’m washing away the remnants of my hopeless devotion
I know that look in your eyes
There's something hidden beneath all of your lies
On the surface everything seems fine
But we all know there's something on the inside

Go cut your hair and change your name
But every part of you's the same
There's not a single soul to blame
I'm through with all your games

All in all I'd say I'm doing just fine (doing just fine)
There's just no sense in wasting all this time
I'm still so young with so far to go
So before I leave I thought you should know
That I'll be okay, this didn't matter that much anyway

In retrospect I can't say I didn't see this coming
If I'm being honest I was just consumed with nothing
I'm looking for the finer things, though I don't know what they'll bring
Anything can happen, which alone surpasses everything

I'm done with reflecting on the past
This was something that I knew just couldn't last
As I sit with this notebook and this pen
I know that everything will work out in the end
Track Name: Wilsey Square
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m wasting away the best years of my youth
I’m tired of feeling sad and alone when I know depression has no use
I’m 21 with seemingly no sense of direction
But why do I feel like all of this shit pays off in the long run?

The sun reflecting off my window tells me everything’s alright
Say goodbye to the long nights full of streetlights that I’ve left behind
I’m making a change cause I know that things will never ever be the same
I’ve been running in place, shake the weight off my back and show me the way

I take a breath in Wilsey Square
To fill in my head and clear the air
Snow covers the ground, heavy like the load I carry around
The colder the weather the warmer my head
I’m better alone than in your bed

And I try to recognize the ins and outs of daily life
I don’t know where I’m going but I know I’ll be alright
With fortunate friends I’ll find the path for which I strive
And I know it’s on the other side

It seems you lack all common sense
I confront the point, you feign ignorance
Consistently claim innocence
But I think it’s time you clean up your mess
One of these days you’re gonna realize
That while everything in life has a downside
I can guarantee that you’ll be alright
So try living in that state of mind
Track Name: Lost In Translation
Just woke up and the clock says noon
Everything that I thought I knew
Is now irrelevant, serves no use
Telling my brain and my heart to call a truce
One more time sign on the dotted line
Selling my soul to those ears in the grapevine
Lost in translation this time
Thoughts jumbled up in my mind

My head is filled with endless contradiction
All these years of bad luck, reminiscent of superstition
The glass is shattered, so is my reflection
And i'm digging through lost memories to find a sense of direction

I'm the listener's listener 'til I up and explode
Because there's just so much you should know
Lying awake, considered selling my soul
To the devil that's above the ground below
The truth rattles through my spine
Word for word and line for line
A quiet fear of the world outside
The unknown is where I fall behind, where I fall behind

Oh I'm drowning slowly.
Am I ok? I'm something.

I've come to notice that we see what we want
Regardless of the past and where we left off
Lord knows I tried to be your friend
But not everything works out in the end

I would try to make you do me a favor
While I'd try to justify my behavior
I'd kick and I'd scream, it was my tongue to keep
While you'd give me a look that could cut like a razor
I would try to make you do me a favor
While I'd try to justify my behavior
The way you look at me
Is something that I wish I'd never seen
Track Name: Marlon Byrd
Sitting alone getting drunk on a future
That hasn't occurred, grasp on reality looser
Reflecting on the past ‘til I feel like a loser
In need of a serious confidence booster
The past is a haze, my hindsight's blurry
Mind in a daze, I'm feeling hurried
To get some direction, my head is burning
The future’s a puzzle and I'm a little worried
The world will sing its song stringing me along
Path is drowned in fog, Head is lost in thought

Every face reminds me of you (every face reminds me of you)
It’s a message tried and true (tried and true)
It’s something I can’t escape (something I can’t escape)
Yet it seems that things are falling into place

I've been thinking for a while
Maybe there's a part of me that's living in denial
How do you make me feel this way?
Living in a purgatory made of hope and pain

All things considered I guess that we’re even
Take these last words; don’t doubt that I mean them
I’m going away, I think I need a break
There’s a time and a place, but we’re not headed the same way
Say what you want, but in the end it’s time
To let go of your past and stop revisiting mine
I’m going away, I think I need a break
There’s a time and a place, but we’re not headed the same way

Turn the page that's left unread with every word I've never said
The ink is dry, my soul's been bled, any chance we had is dead

This feeling pulses through my bones, the only thing I've ever known
I guess I'm better on my own, leaving you alone
Track Name: Concepts
There’s a book of things I wish I never knew
And though I’ve never read it I can spell it out for you
Some call me a cynic, well I’d say I’m a critic
Relationships once steadfast become tenuous and stygian

The world we’re living in is anything but sane
The only place I’m safe is looking through the window pane
I’m a citizen of youth
Climbing mountains made of memories and people I once knew

When I’m in a place where everybody knows my name
All the same, no one knows me at all
To go somewhere anonymous, a paradise it seems
To be faceless, nameless - the new American dream

What happened to my generation, plagued by flagrant narcissism
Cataclysmic self-absorption, thinly veiled in aphorism
Everyone’s a closet case, no one ever wants to face
The harsh reality that we’re all coming from the same place

Putting life into words is the struggle I’m facing
My heart is getting heavy and my mind is racing
I’m doing what I love and everything is amazing
But the impending future is scary and bracing
What happens when this ends?
At least I know I’m pulling through with my best friends

In a world of peaceful chaos where challenges are met
Marks are made and goals are set,
Where have we all gone?
Where have we all gone?
Track Name: Hills & Valleys
All night you lie awake trying to figure out
How to cancel out the noise that is running around
Inside of your head, every minute you spend
Is another minute wasted you can never amend
Say what you need to get off your chest
Start at the bottom and build with the rest
All you’ve ever known is living with the best
But when shit hits the fan you run from the mess

Drop it like a stone and leave it behind, everything’s gonna be alright
Rolling on down the mountain of life, though the hills and valleys will remain a climb
Everyone knows where you’ve been, we’ll say it again and again
Superficial and shallow while living in your shadow
Living in the dark your own personal gallows

You’ve made everything you faced
Leaving no shred of a trace that you were here in the first place
You’ve changed, you’ll never be the same
The person I know’s begun to fade
No you were never here in the first place

I wasn’t built for second best, keep my head above while you’re drowning with the rest
Track Name: Home
We're sitting in Dan's basement and it's just past three
Skating in the driveway when a wave comes over me
Thinking back to last September and where we used to be
In December we played Webster and I've never felt so free
There's not a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be

Jersey winters are made warmer by the company I keep
Oh the ice is thick and the river runs deep
But the music I breathe keeps me back from the peak
Everything that I seek lies in front of my feet

I live for every minute that I spend with those I love
When my head is underwater they all help me from above
It's a family we've created I'm so proud to be among
These brilliant minds that intertwine in ways I've never dreamed of
And when the wind begins to bite I cherish all our time
So I put down every thought that's in my mind
There's not a second I regret this climb

Some days it would be easier to just pick up and leave
But see that's just the thing, I've got nowhere else to be
And so I’m gonna stand up tall
Rise up stronger every time I fall
I’m my own worst critic when I feel so small
So maybe it’s time to finally break the mold

Well it seems I’m home again
In search of second chances and a means to an end
Each line that I write shows that I'm on the mend
With the best of intentions and best of friends

And when I see how much I've grown
With the people that I've known
I feel the world lift from my bones

When I look back on where we've come from and who we've been
I realize that our story isn't all that different
But the moments we shared and the lives we've lead
Are the reason for all of the time we've spent

The streetlights I pass help me push back the past
The direction I have through these valleys I grasp
I’ve been lost in translation with each face I pass
But I’ll be okay, and I’ll never look back