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Where We've Come From, Who We've Been

by McCalister

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1.
I'm slowly coasting through the disposal of emotion I’m washing away the remnants of my hopeless devotion I know that look in your eyes There's something hidden beneath all of your lies On the surface everything seems fine But we all know there's something on the inside Go cut your hair and change your name But every part of you's the same There's not a single soul to blame I'm through with all your games All in all I'd say I'm doing just fine (doing just fine) There's just no sense in wasting all this time I'm still so young with so far to go So before I leave I thought you should know That I'll be okay, this didn't matter that much anyway In retrospect I can't say I didn't see this coming If I'm being honest I was just consumed with nothing I'm looking for the finer things, though I don't know what they'll bring Anything can happen, which alone surpasses everything I'm done with reflecting on the past This was something that I knew just couldn't last As I sit with this notebook and this pen I know that everything will work out in the end
2.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m wasting away the best years of my youth I’m tired of feeling sad and alone when I know depression has no use I’m 21 with seemingly no sense of direction But why do I feel like all of this shit pays off in the long run? The sun reflecting off my window tells me everything’s alright Say goodbye to the long nights full of streetlights that I’ve left behind I’m making a change cause I know that things will never ever be the same I’ve been running in place, shake the weight off my back and show me the way I take a breath in Wilsey Square To fill in my head and clear the air Snow covers the ground, heavy like the load I carry around The colder the weather the warmer my head I’m better alone than in your bed And I try to recognize the ins and outs of daily life I don’t know where I’m going but I know I’ll be alright With fortunate friends I’ll find the path for which I strive And I know it’s on the other side It seems you lack all common sense I confront the point, you feign ignorance Consistently claim innocence But I think it’s time you clean up your mess One of these days you’re gonna realize That while everything in life has a downside I can guarantee that you’ll be alright So try living in that state of mind
3.
Just woke up and the clock says noon Everything that I thought I knew Is now irrelevant, serves no use Telling my brain and my heart to call a truce One more time sign on the dotted line Selling my soul to those ears in the grapevine Lost in translation this time Thoughts jumbled up in my mind My head is filled with endless contradiction All these years of bad luck, reminiscent of superstition The glass is shattered, so is my reflection And i'm digging through lost memories to find a sense of direction I'm the listener's listener 'til I up and explode Because there's just so much you should know Lying awake, considered selling my soul To the devil that's above the ground below The truth rattles through my spine Word for word and line for line A quiet fear of the world outside The unknown is where I fall behind, where I fall behind Oh I'm drowning slowly. Am I ok? I'm something. I've come to notice that we see what we want Regardless of the past and where we left off Lord knows I tried to be your friend But not everything works out in the end I would try to make you do me a favor While I'd try to justify my behavior I'd kick and I'd scream, it was my tongue to keep While you'd give me a look that could cut like a razor I would try to make you do me a favor While I'd try to justify my behavior The way you look at me Is something that I wish I'd never seen
4.
Marlon Byrd 03:32
Sitting alone getting drunk on a future That hasn't occurred, grasp on reality looser Reflecting on the past ‘til I feel like a loser In need of a serious confidence booster The past is a haze, my hindsight's blurry Mind in a daze, I'm feeling hurried To get some direction, my head is burning The future’s a puzzle and I'm a little worried The world will sing its song stringing me along Path is drowned in fog, Head is lost in thought Every face reminds me of you (every face reminds me of you) It’s a message tried and true (tried and true) It’s something I can’t escape (something I can’t escape) Yet it seems that things are falling into place I've been thinking for a while Maybe there's a part of me that's living in denial How do you make me feel this way? Living in a purgatory made of hope and pain All things considered I guess that we’re even Take these last words; don’t doubt that I mean them I’m going away, I think I need a break There’s a time and a place, but we’re not headed the same way Say what you want, but in the end it’s time To let go of your past and stop revisiting mine I’m going away, I think I need a break There’s a time and a place, but we’re not headed the same way Turn the page that's left unread with every word I've never said The ink is dry, my soul's been bled, any chance we had is dead This feeling pulses through my bones, the only thing I've ever known I guess I'm better on my own, leaving you alone
5.
Concepts 03:00
There’s a book of things I wish I never knew And though I’ve never read it I can spell it out for you Some call me a cynic, well I’d say I’m a critic Relationships once steadfast become tenuous and stygian The world we’re living in is anything but sane The only place I’m safe is looking through the window pane I’m a citizen of youth Climbing mountains made of memories and people I once knew When I’m in a place where everybody knows my name All the same, no one knows me at all To go somewhere anonymous, a paradise it seems To be faceless, nameless - the new American dream What happened to my generation, plagued by flagrant narcissism Cataclysmic self-absorption, thinly veiled in aphorism Everyone’s a closet case, no one ever wants to face The harsh reality that we’re all coming from the same place Putting life into words is the struggle I’m facing My heart is getting heavy and my mind is racing I’m doing what I love and everything is amazing But the impending future is scary and bracing What happens when this ends? At least I know I’m pulling through with my best friends In a world of peaceful chaos where challenges are met Marks are made and goals are set, Where have we all gone? Where have we all gone?
6.
All night you lie awake trying to figure out How to cancel out the noise that is running around Inside of your head, every minute you spend Is another minute wasted you can never amend Say what you need to get off your chest Start at the bottom and build with the rest All you’ve ever known is living with the best But when shit hits the fan you run from the mess Drop it like a stone and leave it behind, everything’s gonna be alright Rolling on down the mountain of life, though the hills and valleys will remain a climb Everyone knows where you’ve been, we’ll say it again and again Superficial and shallow while living in your shadow Living in the dark your own personal gallows You’ve made everything you faced Leaving no shred of a trace that you were here in the first place You’ve changed, you’ll never be the same The person I know’s begun to fade No you were never here in the first place I wasn’t built for second best, keep my head above while you’re drowning with the rest
7.
Home 04:50
We're sitting in Dan's basement and it's just past three Skating in the driveway when a wave comes over me Thinking back to last September and where we used to be In December we played Webster and I've never felt so free There's not a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be Jersey winters are made warmer by the company I keep Oh the ice is thick and the river runs deep But the music I breathe keeps me back from the peak Everything that I seek lies in front of my feet I live for every minute that I spend with those I love When my head is underwater they all help me from above It's a family we've created I'm so proud to be among These brilliant minds that intertwine in ways I've never dreamed of And when the wind begins to bite I cherish all our time So I put down every thought that's in my mind There's not a second I regret this climb Some days it would be easier to just pick up and leave But see that's just the thing, I've got nowhere else to be And so I’m gonna stand up tall Rise up stronger every time I fall I’m my own worst critic when I feel so small So maybe it’s time to finally break the mold Well it seems I’m home again In search of second chances and a means to an end Each line that I write shows that I'm on the mend With the best of intentions and best of friends And when I see how much I've grown With the people that I've known I feel the world lift from my bones When I look back on where we've come from and who we've been I realize that our story isn't all that different But the moments we shared and the lives we've lead Are the reason for all of the time we've spent The streetlights I pass help me push back the past The direction I have through these valleys I grasp I’ve been lost in translation with each face I pass But I’ll be okay, and I’ll never look back

credits

released June 3, 2014

Music by Sarah Kapilow, Dan Martino, Bobby Grimaldi and Andrew Van Buskirk
Produced by McCalister and Steve Kellner
Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Steve Kellner
Cover Artwork by Voodoo Bownz

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McCalister

We are a band from New Jersey.

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